Today life is hard.

I'm sick, and I'm worried about it. I need to see a doctor and a dentist. I'm worried about my wife, who is tired from having taken care of the kids for a week while I vacationed. The car we've been using is in need of repair, and our other car hasn't worked for a year now, and we've not the funds to fix either of them right now. Because of my new student income schedule we're low on funds of course. In August, when the funds do come in, much will be used to pay back borrowed monies for the summer.

I've got a presentation on Friday. For this I need a powerpoint, for that I need to walk to campus for a good chunk of each day. This would be okay if I wasn't deathly (and I do mean deathly. I'm so sick I'm scared!) sick, and I didn't feel guilty about leaving Rachel home with the kids, and the reality of her having to deal with them while I'm on campus. Besides this my paper is due a week following, and requires much attention that between my family and my sickness and work will be hard for me to give.

In old San Juan the bricks were blue and over one hundred years old. On the coast by the old fort there were thousands of graves. Over the front gate here was a faded tile picture of John the Baptist in the wilderness. Up the hill from there stood a church, it's doors open, electric fans plugged in everywhere for the faithful. It was comforting to see a Catholic church after all the Pentecostal churches. It was like an oven inside the walls of Old San Juan. Hand bells from vendors peddling their wares rang at random intervals. I couldn't smell the salt water breeze from the ocean, but I could feel it.

I feel like a failure. Like I haven't done too well at this whole "life" thing. I don't think I'm alone in feeling like this, and I don't feel hopeless. I know I'm moving forward. I'm scared, but hopeful. More than that I can't go back on placing my trust in God now, then I would be a hypocrite. How could I with all the blessings I have?

The end.